I know its been forever. I know. I know that I can't catch you all up on the trip I took through Laos and the amazing time and people I met there, it is just impossible. But I'll give you some small tidbits: Living in Laos is less expensive than Thailand, at least when it comes to room and travel. I stayed in one of the nicest rooms I have so far in Luang Prabong for 20,000 kip a night, which is roughly 84 baht, which is less than 3 US dollars. Private bathroom, queen bed, view of the Mekong River. In comparison I am now back in Bangkok staying in a room for 100 baht (3 US dollars) no bathroom on my floor, no windows in the room, but plenty of cockroaches and other crawly thing that ignore you (I hope) when you ignore them. No view of any river. Food, however, is more costly in Laos. If i ordered my favorite dish (Goyt Dow Pad Kee Maow Gai, which is a noodle dish with vegetables, chicken, garlic, and peppers) in Bangkok I pay 35 baht, about 1 US dollar, and get a huge plateful that is extremely filling. (Thailand's 99 cent value meal is outta this world!) In Laos I'd be paying upwards of 100 baht and it wouldn't be as large of a portion.
I must say this for Laos; it jived more with what my idea of Thaliand was than Thailand itself turned out to be. I know I have no reason to say this, that any idea I had of Thailand was an exoticization, but Laos fulfilled those dreams. It just isn't as developed. In Pak Beng there are no atms and the electricity turns off at 10 pm, in the South (which I have yet to see) around Pakse and the 4000 islands the electricity is only turned on for 3 hours a day. There is less ... stuff in Laos. Less things. You see families living the same way of life that their family lived before, and that their ancestor's ancestor's ancestor lived. Thatch huts, no running water, each home having a small farm and chickens. I'd like to say that they are happier living that way, and it is true, many people I met were very happy, but what does it do when a white dude from eons away comes strolling through your town wearing clothes and gear that cost more than your annual income, and takes pictures of you and your family as if you were there for his entertainment with a camera that cost more than you'll earn in three years and then proceeds to drink with his traveller buddies in a restaurant throwing around money as if it were nothing? (And it sometimes felt that way dealing with the Kip, I mean it is unreal to be carrying around one million kip in your wallet. I can say that I have already been a millionaire in my life and have, like alot of overnight millionaires, spent it all) So I'd say that, yes, many of those people I met have the fortitude and strength of spirit to be happy even though they are constantly confronted with what could be viewed as their own "poverty", but others are bitter, others have hate, but it is a hate they turn on themselves and not on the foreigners. A hate of their own lives, to such an extent that they will do anything to escape it, such as peddle drugs (which carries a mandatory death sentence in Laos, only white women who impregnate themselves get headlines), or even worse peddle themselves as a way to get money, in the idea that money will solve their problems. (The main one being a lack of money). But Laos is beautiful. Amazingly beautiful. Breathtakingly so. So beautiful that I never got used to it, each day, every second I was there, I was saying stupid things like, "Holy Moses look at that! Beautiful!" or "Sweet wondermeats! Look at that! Beautiful!" and so on and so forth. I will go back to Laos, I haven't seen the 4000 islands from a hammock yet or swam with the River dolphins.
Anyways I need to tell you all about my favorite method of public transportation in Bangkok. (I'm back in Bangkok by the way and have been for about a month, maybe a little less, I really like it here) It is the Khlong taxi boats, the canal boats. Bangkok has been called the "Venice of the East"' because of its many canals that criss-cross the city, although I don't know if it is as picturesque as Venice. It does have it's charm, but you're not going to see gaily dressed punters a-singing love songs up and down the canals. One main reason for this is because no one talks on the khlong boats, not because they're anti-social, but because of the fear that a rouge wave from a passing boat or a splash from a wave reflecting off the cement sides of the canal would direct a drop of the khlong water into their mouths. The best way the describe the majority of the khlong water is sickened paper pulp. It is a brackish gray that shines brown when the sun hits a crest in a wave. Things that are thrown into it have to have a certain density and mass to break the surface tension. I have seen things that should sink, like a pebble, or a coin, hit the surface and stick, not float, stick until a slight break in the water allows it slide underneath. "Then why," one might ask, "why is this your favorite mode of transportation?" The answer is twofold; one, it is much quicker than any wheeled transportation and two, it is soooo much fun.
So here is a typical trip (which will showcase both points in favor of khlong transportation). You need to get to Central World to do some shopping from Pinklao. Now sure you could take the 511 and for 16 baht get dropped off at Central World, but that trip could take anywhere from 45 minutes to one and one half hours depending on traffic. Plus the 511 is a popular route, and you being the good citizen you are, would vacate your seat for any girl and any elderly, so you maybe standing the whole time in a bus with no A.C. and possibly 85 people. Boring and uncomfortable. The better way to go is walk down to the Chao Praya, catch the ferry across the river (3 baht) and walk to Democracy Monument and the Panfa Pier (about a thirty minute walk, so good cardio). Then the fun begins. You stand on the pier, a walkway of about 30 feet by 7, and get ready for the boat. The boat, a longtail, roars up and slams against the pier. The crew leap from the side of the boat (on which the also ride and walk) secures it to the pier and waits. People flow off at the same time that people cram on. There are no lines, there is no etiquette, it seems to just be a mad rush. Which, in fact it is. I have never seen a longtail wait at a pier for longer then 2 minutes, a minute and a half is pushing it really. Most of the time they are on and off in under a minute. I feel that they do this to make up for the other extreme of transportation (the bus) when most of the time all you are doing is waiting because of the traffic. I feel that the Thai people have decided that to balance that extreme out the must have the other, speed to sloth, moments to minutes.
Let me explain a little more about the longtail layout. They are boats that are much longer than wide, perhaps as long as 60 feet with a width of no more than ten. The seats are just benches. You get on and then shuffle/slide to the opposite side to allows others to board, and then shuffle/slide the other way when the boat docks on the opposite side. Some of the longer boats have a standing room in the center, and while standing there (my favorite for ease of embarking and disembarking) it is fun to watch this slow migration. If the water is calm, or when you get close to docking you can see the waterways and Bangkok life around you, otherwise it is blocked off by tarpaulin sheets that are rigged to pulleys every 10 feet along the boat. Pull down on the rope and the tarp comes up to shield you from the water. Let off on the rope and it comes down to allow you to leave to boat. When you stand you can get a glimpse of the canal life in the gap between the ceiling and the top of the tarp.
So now you've successfully leaped onto the boat at the Panfa pier. You've negotiated a seat and have paid the conductor. "Alright," you think, "Not bad, this is easy and fun, and no traffic. sweet." Ah, but it is always harder to finish something to begin it, is it not? First you have to know where you are going, and this is not easy. Khlong transportation is not a tourist thing to do, so there are not a whole lot of English signs or explanations and if you do not know your stop and which one comes after what you are not going to make it. I have almost fallen into the khlong in the attempt to get off at the right stop because I did not recognize it before the boat was already docked. At that point, when the boat slightly touches the dock, you had better be half off, or at least standing at the edge, maybe on the edge itself of the boat. Definitely not sitting in the middle of a row of Thai people who know where they're going. However common sense got the better of me and I settled for getting off at the next stop rather than risking death and disease through submersion. I've found that the best way to get off the Khlong is to anticipate and leap off a little bit before the boat actually touches. That way you already have the momentum necessary to bull through the crowd trying to get on and it is fun, that added risk. And really that is where the fun comes from, the risk. Everyone you meet has stories of how so and so went blind in one eye from the Khlong water, or how so-and-so got tapeworm or some other parasitic creature, or how even one guy died from swallowing some water. (Actually died man! I swear it!) That and the saved time and more interesting environment makes Khlong boats my favorite mode of transport.
Come visit and I'll show you.
